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Avatar Sucked

21 Dec

(click on comic to view full size)

Click to view full size - Avatar Sucked webcomic

Click to view full size - Avatar Sucked webcomic

I absolutely HATED it.

Its ferngully meets captain planet. Except ferngully was better because it had a funny talking bat voiced by robin williams. Also, it’s basically Pocahontas.

I don’t get it. A lot of people have said that this was so visually amazing..but it was not any more spectacular to me than the end sequence of Phantom Menace or many many many video games I have played. It was a very uncreative battle with really boring military aircraft designs.

The mechs for example, could have been designed by a 10 year old. Gone are the days of Syd Meads amazing industrial designs I guess. The airships looked like a Gi Joe toy.

https://i0.wp.com/www.bigreds.com/GIjoeSpaceShuttle.jpg

Why cant they make something even 1/100th as beautiful as the japanese mech designs:

https://i0.wp.com/www.deviantart.com/download/45526462/Corporate_Assault_mech_by_flyingdebris.jpg

The helicopters looked more boring than modern military helicopter designs. The guns were boring. The body armor was boring. EVERYTHING was poorly designed…the aliens were BLUE CATS. In a world that is 100% CGI the BEST you can come up with is BLUE CATS??????????? Why not make them green people with little diddley boppers? Oh yeah because THAT would be boring and unoriginal right?

Ugh..This movie was made of epic fail. And how they win at the end couldn’t have been more ridiculous if they literally hugged a rainbow. here I will spoil it for you: they pray to a tree. Seriously. All they have to do to win is pray to a tree, and then the birdies and battle bunnies attack the bad guys and win. Yay lets go hug daffodils!

I’ll say one positive thing, I did like the design for the tiger monster things. The bird/pterodactyl things I did not like nearly as much since the face was a near duplicate of an eel. I didn’t like the idea of a universal USB for all the lifeforms there, its taking the concept of Gaia way too literally.

oh and don’t get me started on the subtitles. Papyrus. Seriously. They used papyrus. Why not comic sans? Why not times new roman? Papyrus? My god… That is on itself a glaring iceberg of the originality flaws in the film.

And really, the CGI is still not photorealistic. I am sorry..it still does not look real. The test will be when we can show footage of a human being walking around and talking and then people genuinely not be able to tell the difference. We aren’t there yet, may not get there until maybe 10 years.

Movie directors like Lucas and Cameron are acting like a teenager who just discovered solar flare filter in photoshop and use it on EVERYTHING. Just because you can fill every shot with 500,000 things does not mean you SHOULD.

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Open Water movie review

4 Nov

Strangely I couldn’t find an entry for a review of the movie Open Water, so I am posting it now and adding it to my memorable entries. Here is the movie open water as web comic

https://i2.wp.com/img.photobucket.com/albums/v637/bboyneko/Funny%20Images/comic6.jpg

A Scanner Darkly – Comic Book Review

18 Jul


A Scanner Darkly

That comic was a quick review of “A Scanner Darkly” I did while bored.

*spoilers*

Movie Plot
—————————————
A hippy living in a house full of meth addicts finds out that his roomates conspire against him; one roomate is actually a terrorist running guns and goes to the police to inform against him (falsely) the other is out to get his GF. And hif Gf, by the way, is actually a NARC!!! And Guess who else is a Narc? yes, our hippy main character! And his meth addiction was done on purpose by his NARC GF so he could go to rehab, and rehab centers are actually a FRONT for manafacturing and distributing the drug! His NARC GF and the police (who of course, bugged every room in his house with invisible cameras) made him into an addict so he could inflitrate the Recovery Centers!!

And remember, he was also a NARC but didn’t realize it.

That is not a good movie’ or good plot or good writing. That is merely the lunatic, meth-induced psychosis paranoid delusions from a meth addict, Phillip K. Dick. Utter trash. The movie serves only to remind everyone why Meth is one of the worst and most dangerous recreational drugs on earth.