I am a fan of the work of the director Lars von Trier and his viewpoint on the inherit evil of existence.
I am of the opinion that existing is a horrible, depressing thing. And we need to constantly distract ourselves from that horror, if we are left too long to examine life we will walk away feeling empty and go a little crazy. Just take a completely neutral look at nature, the sea, the forest, your own backyard. Get rid of the fantasies of butterflies, beautiful flowers, singing birds, playful dolphins and really look. You will see horror: animals eaten alive, starving to death, babies eaten by parents because they are unfit, cold emotionless evil at all levels of life. Sometimes we like to think that all the evil of this earth is the fault of evil men. But in the absence of people there is plenty of horror and evil.
We have an immune system that keeps us alive because so many countless millions before us died horrific deaths, and we descended from the random lucky survivors.
When you see beauty you are intentionally choosing to ignore the evil and horror that brought it all into being. I love my cat, and think he is a beautiful animal, but also see he evolved over millions of years to become extremely efficient at killing small helpless things and eating them. So much so his biological systems are 100% dependent on animal flesh to survive. He would die painfully if fed only muscle flesh for example, he has to eat organs, bones, blood etc. to get all the nutrition he needs.
Without random mutations, we could not have the plethora of life that exists, but those same mutations lead to diseases like Downes Syndrome, Cancer, Spinal Muscular Atrophy, gastroschisis and omphalocele etc.
So my point remains, you have to distract yourself from the horror, because if you focus on it you’ll go a little mad and depressed. And bizarrely, you can not have the beauty without the horror… good example of the eastern ideas of ying and yang.
Is it any wonder that some of our most ancient religions depicted a blood thirsty god or gods? Judaism had a God that demanded blood sacrifice, and even Christianity has a God demanding human sacrifice (Jesus) before he can forgive anything. Looking around at nature, they felt that only a being that delighted in suffering and blood could have brought this all into being in the manner that it is. The book of Genesis tells a story explaining the suffering they saw around them: growing old and dying, woman having painful childbirth that often led to death, the great difficulty in farming and getting enough food to eat, disease, etc.
So I feel you should distract yourself as much as you can. With people, with music, with beauty, with wine, with love. It is better than the alternative. Try not to focus too much on the bad, it can be hard to climb out of that abyss if you go too deep.