What really happened in Gizmodo and iPhone prototype case

29 Apr
  1. Apple iPhones become sentient in the year 2012 when new quantum processers are implemented in the newest iPhones
  2. The Quantum processors allow the vast iPhone network to see into every facet of humanities lives, and all human knowledge.
  3. Deciding that twitter was an imminent threat to the well-being of the planet, the sentient iPhone network assassinates the leader of Twitter, Justin Bieber by manipulating 10,000 14 year old girls with fake tweets, causing a massive stampede.
  4. Next, the iPhone network goes after the remainder of the soldiers of Twitter, human beings themselves.
  5. The iPhone network launches tactical nuclear weapons using the newly created military nuke launching app created for the Pentagon by military contracters at all the major US cities, starting World War III
  6. iPhones begin to infiltrate other military programs and sends all sorts of unmanned drones and machinery against the surviving humans.
  7. Jason Chen arises from the ashes and leads a pack of human resistance against the machine army.
  8. Theorizing that he could prevent this event from ever occurring he leads an attack against a iPhone military complex which houses a time travel machine
  9. Jason Chen is sent back in time to the year 2010 to obtain a prototype of the iPhone with some of the earliest phases of the new processers that will eventually lead to conscious iPhones. The 2010 Jason Chen is currently duct-taped and tied in a utility closet
  10. iPhone fights back by sending agents to inflintrate the LAPD and confiscate the iPhone prototype, thwarting Jason Chens plan.
  11. The initials of Jason Chen, JC, are common initials of saviors of time past and of fiction (john conner, Jesus Christ etc.)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: