Avatar Sucked

21 Dec

(click on comic to view full size)

Click to view full size - Avatar Sucked webcomic

Click to view full size - Avatar Sucked webcomic

I absolutely HATED it.

Its ferngully meets captain planet. Except ferngully was better because it had a funny talking bat voiced by robin williams. Also, it’s basically Pocahontas.

I don’t get it. A lot of people have said that this was so visually amazing..but it was not any more spectacular to me than the end sequence of Phantom Menace or many many many video games I have played. It was a very uncreative battle with really boring military aircraft designs.

The mechs for example, could have been designed by a 10 year old. Gone are the days of Syd Meads amazing industrial designs I guess. The airships looked like a Gi Joe toy.


Why cant they make something even 1/100th as beautiful as the japanese mech designs:


The helicopters looked more boring than modern military helicopter designs. The guns were boring. The body armor was boring. EVERYTHING was poorly designed…the aliens were BLUE CATS. In a world that is 100% CGI the BEST you can come up with is BLUE CATS??????????? Why not make them green people with little diddley boppers? Oh yeah because THAT would be boring and unoriginal right?

Ugh..This movie was made of epic fail. And how they win at the end couldn’t have been more ridiculous if they literally hugged a rainbow. here I will spoil it for you: they pray to a tree. Seriously. All they have to do to win is pray to a tree, and then the birdies and battle bunnies attack the bad guys and win. Yay lets go hug daffodils!

I’ll say one positive thing, I did like the design for the tiger monster things. The bird/pterodactyl things I did not like nearly as much since the face was a near duplicate of an eel. I didn’t like the idea of a universal USB for all the lifeforms there, its taking the concept of Gaia way too literally.

oh and don’t get me started on the subtitles. Papyrus. Seriously. They used papyrus. Why not comic sans? Why not times new roman? Papyrus? My god… That is on itself a glaring iceberg of the originality flaws in the film.

And really, the CGI is still not photorealistic. I am sorry..it still does not look real. The test will be when we can show footage of a human being walking around and talking and then people genuinely not be able to tell the difference. We aren’t there yet, may not get there until maybe 10 years.

Movie directors like Lucas and Cameron are acting like a teenager who just discovered solar flare filter in photoshop and use it on EVERYTHING. Just because you can fill every shot with 500,000 things does not mean you SHOULD.


6 Responses to “Avatar Sucked”

  1. dazz December 21, 2009 at 10:16 pm #

    Since when is “Movie: The Game” ever good?
    I’m not hopeful for Battle Angel Alita. Twat even said he wants to use an entirely CGI lead instead of gosh, gee, I dunno, an actual actress? You know, one of those people paid to stand in front of a camera and say their lines?
    …I did like how “Stalin” is apparently German for “Lucas”.

  2. asharak December 22, 2009 at 1:30 pm #

    The Papyrus font in the trailer turned me off, too. I didn’t know it was also used for subtitles in the movie.
    In retrospect, I wonder if The Terminator was a fluke. Cameron’s always been overrated, plus he’s a total prick.
    I think I’ll wait for the DVD.

  3. Anonymous January 11, 2010 at 4:19 am #

    CrapAtar and I left Early to Vomit
    I am so glad a lot of people thought this film was garbage, especially for all the hype. I was starting to think that the whole general public were a bunch of idiots ready to be spoon-fed any sweetened drivel that was shoved in their faces !! But, yes this film was right out of a filmmaking 101 textbook….nothing original or creative. The whole design was stolen form other movies, and the sad depressing canned music at the end was vomitous !! They kept playing it over and over, as far back as when the tree fell down…The whole movie just hit me the wrong way, and I don’t give a rat’s A** about 3D….It was the first movie in a long time that took all my inspiration and sucked it out of me….depressed me and angered me all at the same time.

  4. Anonymous April 23, 2010 at 4:04 pm #

    Yep, a total Crapatar
    So April 22, I bought the movie at Target for $15. I’m thinking, wow, how sweet of Cameron to share the wealth and sell it cheaper, plus there are no 30 minutes of previews on the DVD. Let’s see what all the Buzz is about…
    Within the 1st 10 minutes into the movie, my wife and I started pushing that “pause button” to comment on how we have already seen this somewhere and how the dialog was so crappy. 30 minutes into the movie, I broke down and went to spend time on the phone with my friends in LA. Enough is enough. This is what happens when you think you’ve become a God and think you can write. Watching this weird movie was like looking at some weird Picasso painting which included Dances with Wolfs, Pocahontas, Matrix and Star Wars all in one then plus some more Aliens. I can see why the actors in this flick were so spaced out, nobody had any clue what the movie would be about and if they would still be alive to see it and how many people not born yet would eventually be in it. When it took so long to make this movie and so much have changed on this Planet, that Cameron had to redo and add to the story everything he liked in the past 2 decades, but then it occurred to him that he is having Compulsive Hoarding Disorder in the entirely new way that it will never stop, and it’s time to recuperate the money spent on it, he then, I think, bribed a bunch of “A-List” Celebs to go on all these talk shows and plug in this weird movie even though they were not in the movie. Now that’s new!

  5. Anonymous May 4, 2010 at 1:26 pm #

    It’s basically a family cartoon. Simple plot, basic dialogue, spectacular but not photo-realistic CGI. A new low for the Sci Fi genre.

  6. Annie June 7, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    Wow what fags…all of you

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