The Happening sucked

16 Jun

I saw it, sadly.

It made me want to gouge my eyeballs out with my car keys.

Or perhaps, lay down in the grass and let a industrial lawnmower turn me into fresh fertilizer.

Yes, it was god-awful..and I enjoyed all of M Knight’s past films including Lady in the Water and the Village.

Someone needs to stop writer-director-producer man before he writes-direct-produces again! It could happen anywhere, at ANY TIME! WE ARE NOT SAFE!

The movie’s initial premise is a good one, but very very very badly executed, mostly due to hideous acting and even more atrocious dialog.

Some real examples of the dialog:

  • Woman: “we’re not going to stand around and not do anything like those assholes on TV…we are NOT ASSHOLES!”
  • Soldier: ‘Cheese and Crackers!”
  • Man: “We Lost Contact”
    • Marky Mark: “With whom??”
      • Man: (dramatic pause) “everybody”
  • Delrious little girl: “I SEE CALCULUS!”
  • marky mark: “DON’T WORRY JAKE YOU’LL STILL BE A HEARTTHROB”
  • old man: “Hot dogs are underated, they have a cool shape and contain a lot of protein”
  • marky mark: “Please Mrs Jones, hear me out, you see i’m a teacher”
  • marky mark: “we’re normal, you can tell that by our voices”
  • marky mark: “Jaaaarrrrrrrreeeeeeeedddd”
  • John Lequizamo: “Only hold my child’s hand if you mean it.”
  • Old lady: ‘You eying my lemon drink?”
  • man: “YOU AIN’T LETTIN’ THAT TOXIC GAS IN HERE! YOU might be the terrorists!”
  • marky mark (he is saying this to a potted plant) “We are just here to use the bathroom. I hope that’s ok???”
  • marky mark (to himself) “C’mon, be scientific, douchebag”

*sigh*

I’d wager sex and the city was better than this.

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3 Responses to “The Happening sucked”

  1. cleophite June 16, 2008 at 3:53 pm #

    Yeah, J and I were going to see this on Saturday but I picked up an extra shift Sunday morning, so we decided to stay in. From what i have been reading, sounds like it was for the best.

  2. dazz June 16, 2008 at 7:03 pm #

    Not much better, I’m guessing.

  3. asharak June 16, 2008 at 11:27 pm #

    I decided not to see it since I think his films have gotten gradually worse.
    So was the premise based on toxoplasmosis?

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