23 Things I learned by Watching I AM LEGEND

21 Dec
  1. If your dog runs into the dark don’t chase it.
  2. Never touch Will Smith’s bacon.
  3. ITS A TRAP!
  4. Dont let a woman drive you home, zombies will follow you
  5. Mannequins make for terrible conversation
  6. Keep a military-grade weapon in every nook and cranny of your house. Empty drawer? Keep a few grenades there. Umbrella basket? Toss in an M-4. What makes for better coffee table reading than a high calibre handgun?
  7. Zombie women have very jiggly breasts
  8. Infected people can climb up NYC buildings with ease but not 8 foot walls in Vermont.
  9. Even when the world ends it’s still quite difficult to find curbside parking in NYC
  10. If you ever find yourself jumping out of a 2nd story window, a vampire is a great way to conveniently cushion your landing.
  11. NYC video rental places late fees are so brutal, even when everyone is dead, you’re compelled to return your DVDs on time.
  12. vampires can figure out that you have relationships with specific manequins and use them against you.
  13. If you dog doesn’t eat her vegetables, you will have to choke the bitch
  14. all vampires look like the same
  15. His name is Robert Neville he’ll be at the bridge everyday at midday. . .when the sun’s highest in the sky.
  16. Before the apocalypse they will have invented a generator that will use gasoline but not release carbon monoxide exhaust.
  17. The face you make while choking your dog is very similar to the one you make while on the john.
  18. Never get caught off guard circlejerking if you are a darkseeker. You will lose your woman.
  19. Even if you are a highly-educated military trained virologist, arguabley the worlds greatest living expert on the virius, go ahead and kill yourself and rest assured that there will always be one talented scientist alive who can pull out a cure from a unrefrigerated vile of blood.
  20. Robert Neville is awesome at giving himself haircuts.
  21. Carry at least a shoulder strapped 45 cal. everywhere that way if you get strung up you can shoot anything that threatens you and escape a bit more easy.
  22. Remember the simple stuff like UV lights are not that hard to find… A couple of strong ones and a gang of mirrors could make a world of difference when your enemy is on the hunt for you.
  23. By 2009 the U.S. Army will have grenades that explode with the force of the atom bomb that rocked Hiroshima
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3 Responses to “23 Things I learned by Watching I AM LEGEND”

  1. meanjunglist December 22, 2007 at 2:37 pm #

    I just saw this last night. As soon as I saw the generators running in his house, I immediately thought about why he wasn’t gassed from the fumes. Good old Hollywood!

    • bboyneko December 27, 2007 at 1:44 am #

      lol so true.. how was your xmas?

  2. Anonymous January 24, 2008 at 1:20 pm #

    24
    24. Faith is the answer.

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