You might be a fundamentalist christian if:

17 Sep

You might be a fundamentalist Christian if:

  • You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
  • You feel insulted when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
  • You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
  • Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!
  • You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
  • You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”
  • While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, a book that tells of talking snakes, donkeys, and suicidal pigs possessed by supernatural beings may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.
  • You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
  • You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.

3 Responses to “You might be a fundamentalist christian if:”

  1. Anonymous September 25, 2007 at 2:24 pm #

    “and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!”
    you don’t seem to grasp that some trees are complete bastards.

  2. menina_tola October 8, 2007 at 2:58 am #

    This is a spectacular laundry list of all my lectures in one. Tremendous writer. And well rounded discussion about Apocalyto the movie, the only part I didn’t see you mention was about how the neither the mayans or aztecs believed in the sexual abuse or rape of women, which mel gibson, of course is so quick to portray. that part he got completely wrong, those were European standards.

    • bboyneko October 8, 2007 at 5:00 pm #

      thank you! I was not aware of the Aztec and Maya sexual customs, I am certainly no expert. thank for sharing that tidbit of information.

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