Return of the King Lord of The rings sucks

19 Dec

I will likely go see Return of the King tonight. I wish I was more into these films..i just cant get excited the same way everyone else has. Granted, they are enjoyable..but it jus seems like the same damn thing.
Every Lord of the Rings Movie

Frodo: Ive been told a million times to not put on this ring
puts on ring

The jesus-looking dude: I love elf pussy

(insert useless ogre battle and fight scenes)

Frodo: Help! I’ve fallen! and I can’t get up!
he falls 1 million times

Gandalf the Gay: *mumble mumble* mysterious musings *mumble mumble*
He conveniently disappears throughout the entire film, because if he was with them the whole time, he could save their asses but it wouldn’t be very exciting if he kept saving everyone’s asses (except he tens to save everyone asses at the end of each film)

Gollum: I is comic releif! My precioooousssssss

Frodo: Hmm..I know Ive been told 3 million times to not put on the ring but…
puts on ring again

Falls..can’t get up..falls again..stares helplessly as some big evil thing approaches him like a fucking tool, dosent even bother to run.


This has been true of the past 2 films


5 Responses to “Return of the King Lord of The rings sucks”

  1. prprincess82 December 19, 2003 at 8:33 am #

    LMAO! That was the funniest summary of that movie that I’ve read so far…hahahaha

  2. ouranophobia December 19, 2003 at 1:14 pm #

    Read the books? 😛

  3. Anonymous December 20, 2003 at 5:50 pm #

    Read the books. What you say makes no sense to anyone who has 😛

    • bboyneko December 20, 2003 at 11:34 pm #

      I was talking only of the films, and how they are structured

  4. bboyneko December 23, 2003 at 2:20 pm #

    Yunno, I wrote this before I saw the thrid film..and fuck if I wasn’t right..this little thing actually describes the entire third film and the trilogy in general.

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