Play him off, Keyboard Cat

I don’t think it was a coincidence that Steve Jobs died the day after the keynote. Sometimes the will to stay alive is very powerful.

From the Wikipedia entry on Charles Schultz:

Charles Schultz, the creator of the Peanuts comic strip died almost immediately before the last Peanuts strip to retire the series was published.

“Peanuts ran for nearly 50 years, almost without interruption. During the life of the strip, Schulz took only one vacation, a five-week break in late 1997 to celebrate his 75th birthday; reruns of the strip ran during his vacation. At its peak, Peanuts appeared in more than 2,600 newspapers in 75 countries. Schulz stated that his routine every morning consisted of eating a jelly donut and sitting down to write the day’s strip.

In a December 1999 interview, holding back tears, he recounted the moment when he signed the panel of his final strip, saying, “All of a sudden I thought, ‘You know, that poor, poor kid, he never even got to kick the football. What a dirty trick — he never had a chance to kick the football!’”

Charles Schulz died in his sleep at home around 9:45 p.m. on February 12, 2000. The last original Peanuts strip was published the very next day, on Sunday, February 13, 2000, just hours after his death the night before.”

I read with alarm the recent news reports that the Asian Carp plague has not been stopped dead in its tracks since President Obama appointed John Goss in 2010 to lead a near $80 million, multi-pronged federal attack against Asian carp.

Yes, multi-pronged.

Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin bravely stated back then that “When it comes to the Asian carp threat, we are not in denial. We are not in a go-slow mode. We are in a full attack, full-speed ahead mode. We want to stop this carp from advancing.”

Yes, FULL ATTACK, FULL-SPEED AHEAD MODE. It was obvious we meant business. There would be casualties. There would be losses on all sides. But the finned threat had to be stopped, no matter how heavy the cost.

The 2011 Asian Carp Control Strategy Framework cover, clearly illustrating the intimidating enemy the US faces

In one of the most brilliant acts of acronym creation in the history of the world, U.S. Representative Dave Camp from Michigan’s 4th district and Senator Debbie Stabenow of Michigan introduced the CARP ACT (Close All Routes and Prevent Asian Carp Today), which directs the Army Corps of Engineers to take action to prevent Asian Carp from entering the Great Lakes.

I had every bit of confidence back then that our brave fearless Asian Carp Czar would, in this assault against these lungless unblinking terrors, emerge triumphant from the great lakes, no doubt with the thousand yard stare of someone who has looked death in the face and laughed, perhaps adorned in a necklace made of fish skulls, probably soggy and pruney, within a few months of beginning this historic campaign.

Yet according to recent news, the fish have increased their front lines and have developed powerful new weapon technology that our fisherman soldiers are defensless against:

“They jump up out of everywhere, and they all land up in the boat and they hit you. When they hit you, it’s like a 20-pound bowling ball hitting you, and it hurts,” said fisherman Jeremy Jones.

It’s almost like Obama WANTS these fisherman special forces to be hit in the head by projectile alien fish. How could we have failed so miserably? It’s not just fisherman soldiers that are being bruised, battered, and generally disrespected by these watery terrorists, it is innocent competitive kayakers:

Kayaker hit in the head by 30lb carp
A 30lb carp ended a Texas kayaker’s attempt to win a 340-mile race after it jumped out the water and hit him in the head.

Brad Pennington, from Houston, was considered one of the favourites among men’s solo racers in the Missouri River 340, a canoe and kayak race that began Tuesday morning in Kansas City, Kansas.

However the Asian silver carp hit him “like a brick”.

“It’s definitely a risk of being out on the river,” said Tracy Hill, a project leader for the US Fish and Wildlife Service’s local fisheries office. “It’s extremely serious. Those things can kill you.”

Some novel demoralizing strategies against these gilled insurgents have been proposed:

Officials are trying to get people interested in Asian Carp for food.
Wildlife officials said it’s actually pretty good, but Mississippi fishermen are skeptical.

“I have eaten carp ribs, and they’re actually quite good,” Riecke said.

“They’re nasty. They’re not good fish,” Jones said.

Of course they are not good fish! They smack you in the head with the city-leveling force of a 20 pound bowling ball! They are bad fish! Very bad fish. I don’t blame people for not wanting to participate in this strategy, no doubt not wanting to dignify the glabrous legless aliens with the status of good ‘eatin. Even efforts to rename them to “Kentucky Tuna” have failed to demoralize the relentless invasive hoards.

The fact that we are here, close to 1 year later and have not yet ebbed the tide of Asian Carp is an embarrassing, unforgivable and glaring failure on the part of the Obama administration that will no doubt be on the front of every voter’s mind as they step into the booths in 2012. Images of people dressed as fish within 100 feet of the polling entrances holding angry signs will likely be on the front pages of every newspaper across the world.

A scene that will be all too common by 2012: Anti-Obama Asian Carp Protesters

Anyway, I decided to do some research. I quickly surmised that canned food was much better for him, but which one? I eventually found myself at www.catforum.com in a quest for the answer….

God help us

Now, I knew there are crazy cat people. I really like my cat as is evident by my wanting the best food for him. But I don’t like him enough to create this:

This signature collage is particularly good because with a name like "andiecat_signature_final" you know it went through multiple revisions. I hope to god Andie is a girl.

That is an example of a signature that is appended to all posts.  Over at that Cat Scientology forum most of the users create a signature collage of all the cats they currently own, or have owned. Take a look at this signature:

RIP every cat ever.

That woman must go through cats like most of us go through toothbrushes.

By reading through the site in wide-eyed horror, I found that you can put a virtual cat funeral / grave site on rainbowbridge.com : http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/PUMPK021/Resident.htm

RIP Jiskefet. Notice the rainbow in the background symbolizing the rainbow bridge path to the cat afterlife, and Jiskefet gazing it at indifferently, much as he probably did in life to everything

Here is a real post by a man who had just lost his kitty to the eternal nap:

I know that cats have an afterlife….a spirit/soul…..but she died at the vet…not at my home. Because she never went outside I am not sure that she will find her way to me. I only live a couple blocks away from the vets but will she know the way?

Indeed..how will she know the way? I recommended smearing your door with mouse blood (from virginal, pure mice of course) and lighted candles glued atop the tiny skulls of various rodents and birds via melted wax for the desired effect.

Now let me add, I know the pain of losing your pet, and that it is not nice to make fun of how others grieve. But jesus christ on a bike, if you put it up online for the world to see, you are fair game.

Here is a great post from a popular topic regarding kitteh watching you shower:

“Both of the cats that I have been bonded to have watched me while I showered. Little Missy would even try to get in with me sometimes. Grim just sits outside the tub and waits until I’m done almost every time I shower. Sometimes he meows at me, but I have no clue what he wants.

Anybody else experienced this behavior?”

And if you have any questions whatsoever regarding cat poop, boy does catforum.com have a plethora of feline fecal wisdom for you. A search turned up HUNDREDS OF POSTS with that very topic. Here are a few good subjects:

• red poop!?
• White Poop?!
• Very Dry Poop
• mystery cat poop
• praying for a poop
• What should optimal cat poop look like?
• My sister in laws poop problem
• Cosmo can’t poop!!
• This could be the next best-selling heartwarming children’s book about a constipated cat

Oh and what cat food should Stlye eat? I chose Evo 95% meat for now. But I should post a topic on catforum.com to confirm it is a wise choice.  As soon as I finish reading “What color is you cat’s nose?” which is riveting and full of keen insight:

Prince’s is pink, but I’ve recently noticed that some of my strays have orange colored noses…and I think one has a black nose

Assuming they’d allow it, this would definitely be my signature:

This would be my signature on catforum.com

And here is a link to my complete photo album of this trip.

Night 1

We arrive late night in Cancun airport. Here is a tip I have not read anywhere else; call your bank before you go and not only tell them you’ll be in Mexico, but ask them if they are affiliated with any branches in Mexico. My bank, Bank of America, told me they are affiliated with Santander bank and if I use those ATms id save on fees. So I find a Santander ATM right outside customs and withdraw pesos for the evening and the next day.

I had arranged for a driver to pick us up and take us to the Hotel Casa Ticul. We get to the hotel around midnight, unpack and exhausted fall asleep. (beds are SUPER comfortable)

Day 1

We are awoken by the sounds of the strangest sounding birds I have ever heard in my life. We have breakfast on the Hotel Casa Ticul rooftop. Delicious desayuno! We pay a deposit to use the caja fuerte (safe) and put our passports and credit cards away. We pick up our coupons for two free chairs and a free umbrella at Mamitas Beach club and head over.

We are not prepared for the tropical heat. We have been to the keys before and Miami, but this was 100x more hot than even south Florida. It was unbearable, but we had brought SPF 80 and reapplied often, had hats and drank mucha agua.

Holly enjoying the beautiful pool at Hotel Casa Ticul. It had lots of interesting flowers around it.

Mamitas is beautiful, plenty of chairs available and we pick one not too close or far from the water. Playa del Carmen has the softest sand I have ever felt, and the water was cool and refreshing. I’m used to Florida ocean water which is so hot it doesn’t cool you off.

We order fried fish and totopos with guacamole. Delicious! The bathrooms were so clean as well. One thing that I really noticed was everywhere we went the bathrooms were MUCH cleaner than your average public bathroom in the United States. In fact, the cleanest bathroom I visited was at a gas station.

I was embarrassed and appalled that a large group first asked that the staff group a giant cluster of 8 chairs or so right by the water (blocking everyones view) and then proceeded to get tacos and other food and BRING IT BACK to mamitas to eat. The staff had to politely as they could tell them they can’t just bring their own food to mamitas. I can’t believe they needed to be told. Do you go to a restaurant and bring your own food? It’s amazingly tacky and entitled.

Once we had enough sun we headed back to swim in the beautiful Casa Ticul pool and then shower and change for a walk around town.

We walked around Avenida Quinta for about 5 minutes before we ran in horror from the tacky tourist mad house. The area of Avenida Quinta where Hotel Casa Ticul is located is SO beautiful and so much nicer than the rest of Avenida Quinta. We never returned to regular Avenida Quinta after that, it was horrifying.

We eventually decided to have drinks at La Bodeguita del Medio near our hotel. What a wonderful place! Cuban rum is illegal in the United States, and having a cuba libre with real sugared coke (I HATE High fructose corn syrup) and real cuban rum was like having a whole other drink. The mojitos were stellar as well.

We then headed to of course, El Fogon on 30th and 32nd I believe. Recommendations for it were spot-on. We were not even out of the cab before a super friendly waiter had sat us down at a nice table and brought us delicious fresh Jugo de Piña. I had the arrachera, which was amazing. My GF had the tacos al Pastor. We loved our meal. They also had nice clean bathrooms. Lucha Libre wa son TV and we were definitely the only turistas there. A memorable meal!

Day 2

Today we are headed to Puerto Morelos to esnorkel. We have our own equipment (red tinted lenses for the mask color correct underwater so you see the true colors of everything) We have breakfast at La Cueva del Chango and loved it very much. I had chilaquiles and fresh juice. Good stuff!

Chelada is a popular Mexican drink. It consists of beer, lime juice and a salted rim

The reefs were spectacular! Best reefs I have ever seen. I’ve been to the Dry Tortugas off key west before, and John Pennekampp in Key Largo, but this blew it all away. Reef as far as the eye can see! And the Mexican government protects their reefs MUCH better than the US does. The guide was always alert making sure no one swam in a way that could damage the reef.

We had dinner at Los Pelicanos, what a beautiful view. We had the fish fillet and totopos and guacamole with chiladas. Excellent!!

That evening we swam in the pool at the hotel again and changed for dinner at La Bodeguita del Medio. The live salsa music was so nice. The orange chicken they serve there was AMAZING. I had seconds. We danced some salsa for just one song (it is far too hot to do much more than that) and got cigars to smoke at the hotel balcony. (montecristos). We were only disappointed that their Cafe Cubano is served without sugar. It seems you can only get the authentic stuff that is brewed with sugar in South Florida.

Poor Juan!

Day 3

We wake up SUPER early with the birds to head to Tulum. We listened to all the advice online to get there before the crowds and the sun. Great advice. We saw so many birds, humming birds were beautiful. We got great photos and footage of Tulum and the beach was beautiful.

Holly taking a photo in Tulum

The postcard perfect beach of Tulum

We then took a cab to Playa Paraiso. I have mixed feelings about this place. Everyone raves about it, but the beach is so segregated. Playa paraiso is full of white american tourists being charged an arm and a leg for food, and then a few feet over poor local Mexicans are using the beach. It felt… wrong. The beach was pretty yes, but all the beach-front bars and what not had giant CLOSED BY ORDER OF THE GOVERNMENT signs. Anyone know why?

We saw so much poverty around Playa del Carmen and the rivieria maya in general, and can’t imagine what locals must think of the privileged tourists who run and hide behind the giant walls of their all inclusive resort never to emerge except in giant bus convoys. It really made me appreciate living in a wealthy country like the US and appreciate all I have.

Anyway, after that we headed to Akumal via cab to see the tortugas. We didn’t have to swim long before finding several. They had interesting symbiotic fish attached to the underside of their shells. I loved that part of the trip, it was beautiful to see them in the wild munching on sea grass.

Cactus or Succulent?

We got ice cream at a little cafe near the water. It was attended by an American girl who spoke maybe 3 words in Spanish. It really blows my mind that people would move to mexico to work & not learn spanish? Someone asked her directions to the bathroom and she had no clue how to tell them in spanish.

I visited Greece not too long ago and I made it a point to learn as much greek as I could. It really helped and the locals appreciated it. It’s not that difficult to learn basics in another language and I can’t understand that people don’t bother to learn. Anyway…

The ice cream was REALLY good and the view outside the cafe unparalleled.

This rock was shaped by waves over who knows how many years

We head home and swim in the hotel pool again before heading to the Mega on 30th to get cookies and other goodies to take home for friends. We LOOOOVED the goat milk caramel and loved the Mexican pastries.

We then went to a tiny bar called Sala Rosa. Really really cool place. Its somewhere between a lounge and a dive bar. The bartender told us a lot about Playa Del Carmen and made really great pina coladas and sangria. Great art all over the place too.

Then we took a chance on a new place that we had a good instinct about, El Facon. Really, really, really good. Highly recommended.

We then went home the next day. Believe it or not, the best Gucamole we had on our whole trip in my opinion was at Margaritaville in the Cancun airport. I was shocked! I was expecting it to be awful, but its made by your table with local Avocados. Give it a try if you have time at the airport.

It was short but sweet!

Boat floating in the water of Akumal

Some observations I made

• The Mexican people are some of the most polite and wonderful people I have ever met. I at no time felt unsafe.
• I am also confused by why many people say Playa is expensive? 55 peso mixed drinks, 25 peso beers, & dinner for two rarely exceeding $40US is not pricey to me. 35 peso cab rides, 15 peso agua frescas. The hotel mini bar charged $1US for bottled water & $1.50US for gatorade. It was all super reasonable. Maybe because I am in the DC area where paying $10 for a mixed drink is typical my view is skewed, but I was amazed by how affordable everything was.
• The heat is dangerous! People need to be super prepared and plan their day around the intense sun and heat.
• The tackiness of Avenida Quinta is not emphasized enough. Its horrible. The only nice part of it is the far northern end where Hotel Casa Ticul is located.
• It seems to be a huge real estate bubble is occurring right now. I fear for the future of Playa when the bubble pops. Condos are being built with an insane fervor. I dont want Playa to end up like Dubai. Everywhere we went we saw condos for sale
• Rarely did a taxi have working seat belts. Ugh. At least they all had great air conditioning.

Links to my TripAdvisor Reviews

• Los Pelicanos – Puerto Morelos
• El Fogon – Playa Del Carmen
• Hotel Casa Ticul – Playa del Carmen
• La Bodequita del Medio
• El Facon – Playa del Carmen

So we arrive at the port of Athens, buy our Ferry tickets and board the Ferry. We got tickets on the “slow” ferry instead of the premium fast ferry. It was fairly relaxing to be on this type of Ferry. Provided it is not super cold, you can hang out on the deck watching the sea go by, and the Ferry usually stops at various other Greek Islands al0ng the Cyclades so you get a mini-tour.

I forgot how long the Ferry ride from Athens to Santorini was, but it felt fairly long. There was all sorts of snacks available for purchase on the Ferry which was nice.

Arriving in Santorini

Once we dock in Santorini it organized chaos. People trying to find their Hotel ride, or catch a cab. We walked a bit further away from the crowd to a less-populated area and found a cab that was happy to take our bags and knew exactly where we were going once we said the hotel name. Villa Lukas.

On Santorini I would recommend getting around by cab as much as possible. Parking can be difficult and confusing and if you rent a scooter or 4-wheeler you will infuriate everyone else since your speed will be severely capped. The cabs are ultra modern, many times luxury cars so they are super comfy. I felt they were quite affordable. We also took a bus once and were very pleased. The buses were very new and clean and large.

Holly appreciating the view from our Balcony in Villa Lukas, in Imerovigli, Santorini

Imerovigli, Santorini

Villa Lukas is absolutely beautiful. It is located in one of the highest points in Santorini, Imerovigli. This is a small town located near Fira (capital of Santorini) but a bit further from the picturesque town of Oia. The price per night at that time of year was around 80 Euros or so. The view is unbeatable for the price. We were able to watch so many stunning sunsets right from our Balcony. I can’t recommend this hotel enough if you want a more quiet place to stay. There is a pedestrian pathway alongside the Caldera that allows you to travel to Fira by foot. Most roads in Santorini have no sidewalk so this is extremely useful and safe.

We would have dinner at night in Fira and walk along the Caldera at night, enjoying the exceptional air along the way.

On the road to Fira from Imerovigli, Santorini

Imerovigli has a very authentic feel. People live here and you can tell. Fira and Oia are far more tourist-oriented, with Oia at times feeling more like an Epcot Center World Showcase than Greece, especially with all the souvenir shops.

Not to take away from the beauty of any of these places of course. Santorini as a whole was stunning and breath taking.

Santorini Beaches

One of the things that blew me away was the Santorini beaches. I read several travel forums that stated Santorini has few good beaches. I think they must have gone to a different island because I visited several beautiful beaches: Red Beach, Perissa Beach, Kamari Beach, and Perivolos beach

Red Beach, Santorini. The path to get there is very scary but fun

Kamari Beach in Santorini. Beautiful black sand and service to your chair

I think my favorite beach was Red Beach, but the path to walk there is very perilous. I would not recommended this beach if you are not fairly spry and have some sturdy shoes. Flip flops will not cut it there. Steep drops are everywhere and the volcanic rock and easily scratch you. There is often an older Greek gentleman there selling Santorini grapes to tourists.

The other beaches mentioned are much more tourist-friendly with rows and rows of beach chairs and umbrellas, with beer and food service right to your sitting area. We had a bucket of ice cold coronas delivered straight to your chairs, it was just like being in a Corona commercial! There was many food options and interesting and fun bars.

So don’t believe what others say, Santorini not only has beaches, they are varied and beautiful and amazing.

Oia, Santorini

One of the biggest reasons people come to Santorini is arguably all of the beautiful photos of Oia. Oia as I mentioned before, did not impress me as much as the lesser visited portions of Santorini but I think your average tourist will be delighted by it. It has plethora of Restaurants and bars.

Oia, Santorini

One little secret is that if you take a path away from Oia towards the ocean, you will enter Amoudi Bay. It is a small fishing port at the base of Oia with fresh fish and beautiful views. It can be a great place to watch the sunset. It may be fun to travel down to it, but getting back up to Oia can be a chore.  Beware!

Amoudi Bay, Santorini

We didn’t really eat anything in Oia other than snacks and of course the delightful Frappes due to the very “touristy” feel of the place. We ate in Amoudi Bay but left slightly dissapointed.

Fira, Sanotrini

Fira is the capital of Santorini. As I said earlier, it was a fun walk from Imerovigli to Fira via a cliff side path. This is the place to go party if your into college type bars. One notable exception was Casablanca Soul, which offered a more laid back lounge feel and great live soul music. The drinks were steep at 15 euros each, but there was no cover and the drinks were large and heavily poured.

There are a lot of good places to eat here. One of the best was Dionysos. It had a large outdoor patio with attentive service and excellent Greek food.

In addition, in between Fira and Imerovigli was Il Cantuccio in Firostefani. This was one of the best restaurants I have ever had the pleasure of dining in. Their specialty is Italian food and the space itself is small and charming.

In the final part of my trip report, I will focus on the beautiful island of Milos. Home of the Venus De Milo, and the most stunning beachscapes on earth.

p.s. You must visit the beautiful Boutari winery in Santorini for a wine tasting and bring back some Santorini wine as a souvenir.

Oia, Santorini

Below is a video I created of the entire trip:

We picked this time of the year because airfare and hotel costs are fairly low due to it being low/mid season in Greece, and the temperatures are still warm enough for swimming.

We picked the Fresh Hotel in Athens based on proximity to the ancient Acropolis and good reviews online. We tend to like more trendy design/boutique hotels and this seemed to fit the bill. It even has an Ice bar.

View of Athens from the balcony of the Fresh Hotel - Photo by Daniel Ferro

The hotel is absolutely amazing, and even if you do not stay here I highly recommend visiting its rooftop bar for a sunset drink. Yes drinks are expensive but the view of the sunset over Athens  makes it worth every penny. If you stay in the hotel the pool is also located on the roof. It is not really a swimming pool as much as it is a small wading pool. It is intended for you to just sort of hang out in and relax.

Sun starting to set as seen from the Fresh Hotels rooftop bar - Photo by Daniel Ferro

I found Athens to be a VERY crowded and somewhat dirty city. But give it a break, it is 3,400 years old or so! It was very easy to get transportation from the airport to our hotel by using the bus system and then a short cab ride. You really don’t need to learn any Greek before you go, but I would highly advice you at least learn some basic Greek phrases. They appreciate it, and it is really not that hard to remember once you are immersed in the culture.

The restaurant owners in Athens can be very aggressive in trying to get your business. My general advice for restaurants is, the farther away it is from the hustle and bustle of main tourist areas the better. If their menu is hand-written, even better. This means they change it regularly based on available fresh ingredients. Remember that you should not tip cab drivers in Greece, and you only need to tip about 5% at a restaurant, or not at all. I kept reading conflicting advice and just did 5% now and then just to be safe.

Also eating at a restaurant in Greece is not like in the United States. It is not a speed eating marathon. You can easily spend 2 hours or more on a single meal there. Take your time. The wait staff will leave you alone most of the time instead of constantly checking on you like in the United States, where many restaurants rely on high table turnover to remain profitable. They don’t mind at all if you stay for a long while. Enjoy yourself.

The Parthenon overlooking the Church of the Holy Apostles in Ancient Agora, Athens. - Photo by Holly Noe

Unfortunately, I am writing this years after the original trip so I am having a hard time remembering where we ate. I know there was a beautiful steep street directly under the acropolis that had many nice restaurants and we found a great one with a rooftop view of the acropolis that was just amazing.

We walked everywhere from the Fresh Hotel. The Acropolis itself is quite beautiful, but a steep climb. The steps rubbed so smooth from centuries of visitors that they are slippery like ice.  Wear shoes with smooth grip and be very careful when you climb stairs.

Also something I forgot to mention about the Fresh Hotel, it is right next to a brothel. Some people found this a big negative, personally I thought it was charming. It certainly didn’t feel seedy there, and the ancient Greeks were very liberal about sexuality and legalized state owned brothels were common and not looked down upon. Contrast that with our decidedly prudish modern western view of sex, which is much more severe in the United States than Europe.

While you are in Greece you must try the Frappes. We were wandering around the Acropolis and noticed everyone was drinking this delicious-looking frothy coffee drink. We asked a random person what they were and we were told it’s a Frappe. It is made with Nescafe instant coffee and ice, and it is SO GOOD. We lived off those things while in Greece.

We tried to use the metro system but the direction we needed to go in was closed. We ended up taking a cab to the port to catch our Ferry to Santorini. A word of advice with the cab drivers there: they drive at approximately 600 MPH and your life will flash before your eyes.

My next post will focus on Santorini.

Ethiopian food.

“Ethiopian is a poor man’s Indian from Planet Gross-Out X. Bunch of multi-colored gross lentils heaped over an old tire. Baaaarrrrfff on my dick.”
- Wise Anonymous Poster from the Internet

” If you can’t taste how gross Ethiopian food is you likely have mild brain damage, probably in the part of your brain that senses when you’re being ripped off.”
- Yet more wisdom from the intertubes

The one on the left looks like someone used the injera as toilet paper. The one on the right is giant chunks of raw beef and fat. Not sure which is worse.

The Washington DC region has the largest Ethiopian population in the United States. When they are not busy running an elaborate Taxi mafia, they open Ethiopian restaurants. Many Americans have convinced themselves that they like it, or that this food is good. The problem is:

1. The food they are eating is westernized to appeal to American palates. For example, they cook it. And also, it is not raw camel organs served still hot after being ripped from the maybe not all the way dead animal
2. The Americanized version is so incredibly bland and tasteless. It is served on Ethiopian sponge bread (Injera) which  is well-named since it tastes like a sponge. I know one person who when she first went to an Ethiopian restaurant put the Injera on her lap because she thought it was a napkin. She was actually correct however, since Ethiopian food is not actually edible and is better used for utilitarian purposes such as being a napkin or Shamwow.

Ethiopian Injera Sponge bread: Slightly edible napkins

The American version of Ethiopian is bland and tasteless. Everyone seems to like the novelty of taking chunks of their spongy napkin bread in their hand and dipping it in spices, in a tragic attempt to add some semblance of flavor to their meal.

People try and smile while chewing their ‘food’. Mmmm, they say. This sure is good! Every pile of feculent sauce on the ‘bread’ looks grosser than the next. I think the same bandwagon thinking is behind the rise of Crocs, snuggies, black and white striped shirts and pretending to enjoy being a parent.

However, if they ever tried REAL Ethiopian food, I think they wouldn’t even bother pretending to enjoy it.

Here are some awesome scenes from an episode of Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel when he visited Ethiopia and was unable to stomach most of the food. This is significant because the point of the show is that the host can eat and enjoy what to Westerners appear to be really gross foods, such as spiders, animal brains, eyeballs, cheese with maggots in it etc. And he is almost always able to finish it and claims to enjoy it. Yet he can’t eat Ethiopian.

These links take you right to the minute and second count of the video (hopefully)

Andrew almost vomits when trying Mook Porridge:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvMrdIX2z2c#t=03m30s

“Fermenting and rotten food made from plants buried in the ground…are much stronger and much harsher tasting than things like rotting meat…Plant stuff just gets a nastier flavor“

Andrew visits the Ethiopian farmers market and tries not to retch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI5oSj2qHN0#t=04m00s

“I have to be honest..the ‘mercado’ as they call it is a place where yesterday’s fresh food is still lingering around as today’s garbage. You mix that with human and animal waste, add rain water, and it becomes one of the foulest environments I’ve EVER experienced…. This is the place where you find the raw materials of Ethiopian cooking”

Andrew tries a raw meat dish and can’t take more than one bite of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIbaoD-e1ZQ#t=03m20s

“This one is a mixture of a raw goat or beef, and it is mixed with intestines…all right. My first taste..those intestines are a little raunchy, tastes like the back-end of an animal if you know what I mean. Wow. I’m not really sure about a second bite here.” (he then gives the rest of the dish away, unable to finish it)

Andrew tries to eat Ox intestine with chopped goat innards
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_a5szIoB3s#t=00m50s

“its hard to eat..its chunky and Grissely and livery and gamey and old-tasting..like it was hanging on that string outside for a VERY LONG time…..I’ve got to admit..some of the food here is a challenge to eat.”

Andrew eats raw camel kidney
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG3AQZKV5ro#t=00m30s

“That’s camel kidney? We’re gonna EAT THAT? My god….The flies seem to like the camel kidneys….Let me just tell you, that the milky bloody flavor of raw camel kidney is nothing compared to the sounds that it makes while you’re chewing. Thats CRUNCHY. My god. There’s only so many bites of this I can take“

The only good food to come out of Ethiopia is Coffee.

Compare lady gagas Teeth set and choreography:

To the silent hill nurses music and choreography:

Compare gaga video at 0:33 and the silent hill nurses at 1:46
Quick links (these links should take you to the exact minute and second count, if they don’t I apologize):

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQr6PJkx3E0#t=00m33s (gaga)
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuyYwP1N-ts#t=00m39s (nurses)

Also check out gaga video at 0:56 and the silent hill nurses at 0:57

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQr6PJkx3E0#t=00m56s (gaga)
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuyYwP1N-ts#t=00m57s (nurses)

More similarities with gaga at 1:45 and silent hill nurses at 1:14

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQr6PJkx3E0#t=01m45s (gaga)
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuyYwP1N-ts#t=01m14s (nurses)

Coincidence? It is not unusual for Lady Gaga to take inspiration from scifi and horror films and TV shows. She has inserted anime references in her videos and performances as well. So it wouldn’t surprise me if she drew direct inspiration from this performance.

Many thanks go to Holly for the idea behind this comic!